Insomnabulist

I've never been very good at sleeping. I can't get a full rest in eight hours a night. I'll either take a long time trying to fall asleep, or I'll sleep the solid eight hours and feel like I've been up all night. On weekends, I'll sleep for a good 14 hours, and the only reason I get up is because I don't want to waste an entire day. I've even been known to do weird things, like hold conversations in my sleep, or fall asleep with my eyes open.

Once a year or so, I begin to wonder what is wrong with me. I'll do a bunch of internet research, decide that I have ____, and then continue on with life. I won't see a doctor because they'll prescribe pills, and I don't like pills. Sleeping pills only make me tired, so none of that.

I've always thought insomnia was my thing. I mean, I'm awake late into the night whether or not I am tired, so it makes sense. When my dad was diagnosed with a bad case of sleep apnea, I wondered if I had it, too. Quite a few times I've been falling asleep, and I've caught myself not breathing. Sometimes I wonder if Americans just have a poor understanding of how sleep should work, and it's actually super normal to be unable to sleep for eight solid hours. I even read an article once that said everything we know about good sleeping habits is wrong.

Ever since my senior year in highschool, I've been wondering if I'm narcoleptic. I don't suddenly fall asleep at inappropriate moments, but I will feel incredibly sleepy at intervals during the day. All I'll want to do is lie down, and it lasts for one to four hours before I'm okay again. It's usually during this time that I fall asleep with my eyes open. Doing research on it tonight, I realized that I have a lot of the symptoms associated with narcolepsy. But something in me doubts that I'm actually narcoleptic.

I'm finding out a lot of neat stuff about sleep disorders, though. Apparently it's weird to dream before you fall asleep? I always thought that you knew you were about to sleep because you were having a half-awake dream. And carrying on conversation in your sleep is entirely possible, so I'm not mistaken when I say I talk to people in my sleep sometimes. I can't find anything about how I'll fall asleep, but still look fully awake. I must just be weird.