Government Dereliction

Oh hey, I have a follower again. But this time it's somebody whose name I kinda recognize. Now I'm feeling the extreme social pressures of high school, right here in my own home!

I made that Professor Layton doll I mentioned last post. Now mum wants me to make a voodoo doll for her of some guy that's been giving her trouble at work, and Rae wants me to make a Vincent Valentine doll. Either I start dabbling in voodoo magic to make my mother happy, or I start on a rather complicated design to make my friend happy. To be honest, I might just blow them both off.

I had the worst substitute today. I've had horrible subs before, and horrible teachers as well, but this one takes the cake. Mrs. Wheelock (I was going to insert link to a personal page of hers, but could not find one), you have succeeded in making the lives of children everywhere a little more miserable miserable. I was on edge with her the moment she told us to put our food away in a cooking class. I felt a bit like punching her when she told Emily to put away her Nightowl and Rorschach laminated dealyboppers. Then she went and seperated Jessie and Emily, despite the fact that they were not disturbing class in any way (I'm not even sure they were talking). She lectured Larrisaa for not looking forward, when all she was trying to do was get out a peice of paper like she was told, and then had the tallest kid in class sit right in front of me during the movie.

What this boils down to is that she treated us like little children, and did not give us the respect we gave her. Also, she kept interrupting the movie to ask me inane questions, and I was really interested in the movie. We wrote a letter to our teacher, explaining the experience. The kids in class that knew about it signed it. If I never see that sub again, it will be too soon.

Ah! I just had one of those moments where you think of what to say afterwards.
Damn. That would have set her straight. And probably gotten me in detention. (worth it)

Something else interesting happened today... Oh! For some reason, my writing class decided we would all be having second lunch today. They told us over the announcements, but I was in an auditorium filled with kids that were quite literally screaming, and I did not hear it. So I went to first lunch, as normal, and missed most of class. As did about 75% of the rest of my class. I was still excused to eat second lunch, though, and I got to eat with all of my friends. It was really great, talking to people I know and love.

As opposed to the kids I only know by their nicknames... And I think they're all sophomores, too. Sigh.

Hollerific

I feel better than I did yesterday, in case you were wondering. Well enough that I can expect to go to school tomorrow. Which depresses me because I--Woah, wait. Where the Hell is my cell phone?

It's around here somewhere... In all my years, I've never...

Found it.

What was I talking about? Never mind. Let's discuss an idea I had while showering.

I'm done with knitting. I just can't wrap my head around it. All I can do is knit and purl. Which is fine for making scarves, curly scarves, and illusion scarves. But I can't make sweaters, gloves, or anything that isn't square or rectangle shaped. So fuck you, knitting.

But crocheting! That is something I can do. I can make square things and round things, not to mention any-shape things (I could crochet newly invented shapes, if I wanted). And the projects I work on are always smaller than the ones I do when kitting, so... Yeah. I've forgotten the word I was working towards. So, to profess my love for crocheting, I've decided on a few dolls that I want to make:

• Phoenix Wright
• Professor Layton
• (Phoenix Layton?)
• Kelly
• The Prince
• And maybe a fish or a dinosaur.

Anyways, I can feel the asprin kicking in, so I expect I'll be back to writing blog posts that aren't weird and un-entertaining in just a minute or so. I'll stop now before I disgrace myself with writing in two different styles in the same entry.

Fishtastic

How hilarious is it that I get all sick as swine flu becomes the next big epidemic?

So I think I caught something at the arcade the other night. Sweaty people all touching the same things, it is very likely. And now I feel like a bitch, because I told myself I wouldn't stay home from school this month. And here I am, staying home on a Monday, and considering the likelihood of staying home again on Tuesday.

Argh, my symptoms are so strange. Are nighttime migraines a thing? Because I'm only getting them at night. Or what about the inability to digest food at the proper rate? I know being achy is a normal thing, but what about aches in the fingers and aches in the muscles you use to wiggle your ears as well? Whatever, I suppose you could just say that I'm achy all over, in the most literal sense.

Also: a fever. How normal.

It is night, which means that my head hurts. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Fellonious Tube

With every day that passes, I become a little more excited. I expect that by this time next week, I will be so excited that I will pee everywhere and make a horrible mess. I'll be babbling incoherently, and someone will put me in an insane asylum. I'll break out, of course, on May 14th. My super excitement that day will give me superhuman strength.

And then I'll be all depressed that following Monday, awww...

The school play that I tried out for but did not get a part in is playing this week. It was a good play, and I thought the actors did a pretty good job. Louis got the part I really wanted. But in the end, I think he did a better job than I ever could. He had this chemistry with Jessie that I could never match. And McClain did a good job throwing Jessie against the couch, though I wish he would have menaced her a bit more after that. I'm a little mad at Jessie at the moment, and it was nice to see someone putting her in her place, even if it was all just a show. And Sören did a great job being the badguy with justafiable means. There was this part where his glasses caught the stagelight, and it looked like an evil glare.

Plus, everyone was in Victorian-era outfits. Guys need to dress like that every day, all day.

I've downloaded an application onto my Mac that allows me to play Interactive Fiction games. It is so fun, I've finally found a game I can play when the internet is being slow. These things take me months to play, and I often don't get to the end, but they take hardly a minute to download. And they're always a small file size. I'm just going to load up with a bunch of them, and be set for the next few years. Not to mention, most games like these pretty much require multiple playthroughs.

Oh my god I'm so excited!

Spider Gates Hotel

I swear to God, spiders are making me agoraphobic. Every time I go outside, I find a few more webs placed around the yard. I took the trash out, just a quick walk to the side of the house, and by the end of it I was prancing about like a sissy, freaking out about all the spiders. Seriously, this close to bawling my eyes out. Why are there so many spiders in exactly our deck area? Other bugs don't freak me out as much. I like to smush them when they crawl on me. But if I find a spider on something, that object is cursed and I'll refuse to go near it for a while.

Once, a large spider built a huge web in our kitchen. It spanned from the ceiling to the top of the kitchen counter. That was a smart place for the spider, but damned inconvenient for me. Every time I went into the kitchen, I would eye that spider as if it were pointing a gun at me.

I was sitting on the couch once, and I noticed a smattering of black spots in a ceiling corner. Hundreds of tiny little dots, so small it was as if someone drew them there with a fine pen. I stood on the couch and got my face reeaall close, so that I could see what it was, and if I could clean it. (I thought maybe it was mold.) It was spiders. Hundreds of spiders that had just hatched from an eggsack that must have been so tight in the corner nobody noticed it. I thought at first they had all died, until they all started moving super-slowly. Swarming spiders in my living room. I freaked out and shut myself in my room for the rest of the day. The spiders were still there the next morning, but it was the day the cleaning lady comes by. The spiders were gone when I came home from school, so she must have gotten rid of them.

A daddy longlegs decided it was time to die in my room, once. It made a crappy lump of web, and hung itself from it. I seriously think it commited suicide by hanging. It also decided that the best place to do this would be the corner by my bed. I was too afraid to clean it up, but also too afraid to sleep. So I would just lie in bed in fear every night. Two days later, mum came in and went "Ew," and just picked it up and took it away. She is a brave woman.

We had a chronic spider problem in my bathroom for a while. Spiders would crawl up the skylight, and then try to crawl upside-down on the glass, only to lose their footing and fall. Usually onto me, just as I was getting out of the shower. I screamed every time. A few times I'd be on the toilet, and one would fall. They never died on impact, just became dazed for a while. Once a spider fell and landed, but wasn't really stunned. I was all alone in the house, so I ran downstairs, grabbed a cup, and captured it. Kinda. I just left it there underneath the glass for a week. It was in the bathroom, so I'm surprised nobody moved it.

There was a particularly large spider on my bed. I dropped a textbook on it. But because my bed is soft, the spider didn't get squished, and just tried to scramble away instead. I dropped the book back on it. Along with seven other textbooks I had in my room. I left a large stack of books on my bed for a few hours, until mum came in and asked me about it. She removed the books, grabbed the (uncrushed) spider with a tissue, and walked away.

A spider crawled onto my shoulder one recess during a soccer game. I didn't notice until another girl pointed it out. I looked down, and I swear to God the spider was all "Jolly good day for a match, wot wot" it was sitting there so perfectly. That was the girliest moment of my life--I squealed, danced about, and acted like a girl until the spider fell off.

Okay, enough spider stories, it's making me really itchy.

Solvent

Problem: Kelly's hair is long enough to clog a shower drain after 2-3 showers of normal intensity*.

Solution: The bath plug is taken out, and a mesh tea strainer is placed there instead.

Outcome: Spiders that get caught in the spray also get caught in the strainer. Kelly refuses to clean it, and continues to have flooded showers (but without the strainer, for fear of spiders floating out of it).

----------

Problem: Tiny hairs always get caught up in the shaving razor.

Solution: An old toothbrush is used to remove hairs after every use.

Outcome: Kelly goes traveling, and packs her two toothbrushes together. Later: Oh fuck, which toothbrush is which?

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If you say 'puzzle' instead of 'problem,' you will always find the solution.

"Every puzzle has an answer!"

- Prof. Layton


*Shower intensity is determined by amount of time spent conditioning hair.
Low Intensity = No conditioner used
Med. Intensity = Normal amount of time spent
High Intensity = Extra tangled hair; Large amount of time spent

Plandramatization

So because I have the will of a woman, I bought Gardening Mama. The only thing I regret about the purchase is the price. It was about $17 more than I thought it would be. But otherwise, great game. I think it's loads better than Cooking Mama. With Cooking Mama, all the dishes eventually started to feel the same to prepare. Measure, cut, cook. Measure, cut, cook. I suck at measuring, I rock at cutting, and I am okay at cooking. But there is a much wider variety of things to do in Gardening Mama. And the more you progress, you'll find that you are sometimes still using the same skills as from the first flower, but the skills have become more difficult. They add a twist.

Also, there is a reward system. So there is more incentive to keep playing.

I managed to break our microwave oven. Again. Last time I did it by burning EasyMac into the most disgusting pile of ashes you've ever smelled. This time, I was loading EasyMac (shut up, I know) into the microwave, when it suddenly shut off. It only microwaved my food for half a second or so before it cut its own power. I did everything I could think to do to fix it (plug, unplug, switch outlet, press buttons, bang on it), and eventually just left it alone. I drew a dead face on a sticky note and put that on the microwave, so that dad could see that it had died when he got home.

Dad seems to really like it when I draw faces on notes. I once put a smiley face on a note card when we got a bunch of packages (they were blocking up the hall, it was exciting), and he stuck it on the fridge. He also put the dead face on the fridge. I really don't understand this.

We discussed Palindromes in Biotech today. I felt like a superstar. That is the second time being a bit of an English nerd has made me amazing in my science class.

Despite not going to sleep until 1:30 last night, I decided that it would be a great idea to get up at five this morning. Or, more accurately, 4:44am. Now, I am quite tired. So to sleep I go.