Monday, November 17, 2008

Blat

So this is my 100th post! I've been avoiding writing it because I have nothing special planned. But now I'm all like, just get it out of the way so you'll go back to regular updates.

Here I go.

So, like any normal teenage girl in a relationship after watching a chick flick about weddings, I've begun planning my own wedding. Just as I have no skills in interior decorating, I have no skills in planning a wedding. I haven't even thought about details like location, or dates, I just have planned out one section that's really important.

You know that part in the wedding, during the ceremony, when the music starts, and everyone stands up and turns to look at the bride? And she slowly walks up with the important male figure in her life, to the beat of the music. Dah~ dat dah dahh. Dah~ DAT dah dahh! She finally reaches the other side of the church, and they begin their vows.

Yeah. This is how it'll go down with me and Griff:

So the music starts, and everyone stands up. Then--BLAM! I kick open the doors and bust my way into the room (or whatever). I'll fucking fly down the runway, wedding dress and all, and tackle Griffin. Because I'm so sick of being separated from him. My father will still be on the other side of the church, slowly making his way up, and the plaster on the walls will probably be chipped from the impact of the doors. Not to mention the heel print in the doors themselves.

Then you know how during their vows, the couple is standing like, three feet away from eachother? C'mon, now, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with that person. Get cozy. At my wedding, my hands'll be all over Griff the entire time. The preist'll be all "Ahem. Ahem!" and one of us'll have to gasp for air and say "Yeah... Yeah! I do." It'll be time to kiss the bride, and we're already practically making babies.

Kiss the bride? Pssht, been there, done that!

We'll still be at the altar when we realize it's time for us to make our getaway into the limo. Instead of waiting for everyone to shower us with rice and shit, I'll just throw my bouquet at them, my garter will already be off, and we'll have the groomsmen and bridesmaids in charge of the gifts and cake at the reception. 'Cuz Griff and I? We're leaving for our honeymoon right then and there. Screw receptions.

And that is why I want a tiny wedding. I don't want gramma to see me humping my very-nearly-husband. But close friends and parents? They'll laugh it off. Yeah. They better.

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