Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Savour the Savior

I want to write a story. Something long, with dialog and character development. Maybe even twists in the story. It's been so long since I've attempted such a thing, I don't know if I can anymore. So I want to find out, and start putting words onto paper.

I have two ideas in my head I've been kicking around. One, I've more or less been working on for years. The idea is still original as far as I can tell, but I've been stuck on the same old problems in how the plot should unfold. I also don't think I'm ready to put an idea that's so important to me so completely down on paper. Not to mention that I'm tired of the characters, and I know that story all too well. It's like, repeat central.

The other idea is still fresh to me, more or less since I came up with it only this year. I'm interested in exploring the new ideas, and there are things I genuinely want to find out about human emotions through writing this story. There are a lot of problems that come with writing this, though. One is that it would be an emotional story about somebody with average emotions. While I do have feelings, I can't say I always experience the correct ones for the current situation. That other story is based around a character whose problems center around how very different they are. This one the characters don't matter quite so much as the situation, so I need them to be normal.

The other problem is that, if I write this, I'll actually start worrying about what other people think about me. Not strangers, I don't care what they think, but the people close to me that I'll force to read it. Because I'll want their input on how the characters behave. And the characters will have to be based on real people, or a mish-mash of real people. I feel like I should be asking permission. Also: I don't want anyone thinking it's real. Because these realistic characters will do realistic things that could shatter lives in very real ways.

Oh God, I'm afraid to write a story because I don't want to hurt anyone.

That means I should totally do it.
(but at what cost?)

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